another joy of mommy-hood...i spent the night awake, since my little decided to throw-up around 11pm and then couldnt go to sleep and stay asleep all night. i spent over an hour changing sheets, changing pjs, and cleaning hot dog and macaroni bits from the entire crib. now, i just have to throw everything in the wash....ewwww....
we went to the mall this morning just cuz we were already awake and i wanted to try to get stevie sleepy enough to take a nap--no such luck. i went to a mall i hadn't been to in a very long time. i usually order a lot of my stuff online cuz it's just so much easier when you have a little one. but, today, i went into a few stores. i even went into a victoria's secret, which is very unusual cuz i usually buy their stuff online since i'll more likely find my sizes and colors that way. it was really wierd there, cuz one after the other, about 4 sales girls came up to me to find out if i needed help and what i was looking for---i had barely taken 4 steps into the store!! and it was even funnier cuz each watch the other come up and ask me and then waited half a second, and then the next came up to me! geez! i don't think i could ever work in a place like that--they probably work on commission. i don't think i could work a job where i'd have to bother people. it made me uncomfortable, like they were watching me, so i just walked out and they lost business. another girl near me in the store gave me a wierd look and walked out too---the salespeople were just too pushy. i mean, i've never worked in place like that, but i don't know if i could. who knows what i'll have to do soon, now that i quit my good-paying job to go to grad school and this next year is gonna be rough. maybe i'll do something more respectable and strip on the weekends, lol. j/k. but i guess i'll do whatever i can to support my son. diapers and doctor's appointments aren't cheap. i've worked worse places, i guess...i mean, c'mon, i was a lowly seaworld worker at one point. i'm more of an office person or professional job type, i supppose. i can't do simple jobs like cashier or waitress. maybe they are too complicated, yet simple, for me. i hate math, but i do like to meet new people. and i can't count out change for the life of me (not that i can really handle it much cuz of my nickel allergy anyway).
i'll never get to see stevie--i'll have classes and therapy all day and some evenings, and then i'll have to work other evenings and weekends. i guess that's the life of a single mom. it's funny how people look at you different when you don't have a simple trinket of gold on your finger, but you have a child. like having a husband for my son would make it soooo much better or something. no one thinks about it would be better off if i was single---better if the baby didn't have a father who didn't work yet still doesn't spend time w/ his son. what about abusive or drug-addicted fathers?? it's better to be married to them than to be a "shameful" single mother?? it's ridiculus, but that's how society is. people ask about "his daddy" or "my husband" and i just say we left his daddy and they are quiet and don't want to talk anymore. i mean, really, suck it up and realize that i had no choice and i'm not a bad person cuz i have a baby!
i guess that's now narrow-minded some Christians can be...
(see? country music and too much religion does cause inbreeding!! lol)
they just don't realize the stuff that THEY are doing "wrong" too...
oh, well. time to go wash the stinky load....yuk!